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If you are concerned that you are attempting to thwart discomfort around such a difficult issue, its perfectly natural to want to draw away, to get the kids something routine or mundane to avoid the perception of favoritism. The truth is, whether you ever admit or not, you do have a favorite. Use this as a positive instead of a negative. There are many ways to go about this. For the purposes of explaining we will use one boy and one girl, brother and sister, although with family dynamics as they are, you may find yourself struggling with greater numbers and greater influences than just two children.
If you already know what you want to get for the child you are more at ease with, then by all means, go ahead. This is now your margin. Gifts dont have to cost the same to be valued the same way. If you spent fifty dollars on one you can still spend thirty dollars on the other without appearing to be playing favorites. The truth is in the value the child places on the gift will determine its worth. However, buying one child a bike and one child a package of underwear makes things a little obvious and cruel.
Youre ultimately trying to develop a higher comfort level with the child you are having a difficult time purchasing for. Start, if you can, by spending a little extra time with that child. Notice things about them, even if you dont understand them. Maybe she likes to play dress up and tea parties and house and you are just at a complete loss because you never played like that when you were little. Thats okay. Youre just paying attention to the way she operates. Maybe you notice that she needs new art supplies or her bedroom is in the middle of being redone and she loves the color pink. These simple things can guide you along the way. Youre not necessarily trying to purchase a gift that you think is so cool, but one that she will think is so cool.