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Between voice-response systems, outsourcing to other countries, and form emails, who needs to talk to a person? See Exhibit A:
"Dear Sir or Madam, Thank you for your feedback. At this time we are unable to
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- Sincerely, Generic Jenny"
- With quality responses such as these, who needs to talk to a customer service agent?
- 2. Apply for middle management.
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In the pyramid-scheme of employment, middle management is the most superfluous. You're the guy whose job it is to make sure that other employees are doing their jobs. If you work for a micro-manager, your boss isn't only making sure that you're doing your job; he's also making sure that your employees are doing their jobs. If your industry is in a slump, has put a freeze on hiring, and employee numbers are eroding due to attrition, why have 10 people managing 250 employees when previously they were managing 300? Is $60,000/year, benefits, paid vacation, and personal time really worth an increase of 0.002% in productivity? If you can do the math, so can upper management. Submit that e-application immediately.
3. Work in the telecommunications industry.
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Between cell phones, cable internet, VoIP, and mergers, the telecommunications industry is all but dead. Countless individuals been talked into keeping a landline by their telephone company "just in case" their cell phone goes dead. These consumers will soon realize that their cell phones almost never go dead, and, if they do, they can always port to a different company with better coverage areas. With "naked DSL" (DSL service that does not require a landline) becoming available in more and more areas, landlines will soon be a distant memory. And the phone number the customers have had a cozy, intimate relationship with for the past 25 years? These landline numbers can be ported to cell phones, too! The heat of the home phone has fizzled.
4. Work somewhere for a long time. Remind people of this. Constantly.